Fun Facts of Life in Chad

One of my coworkers once made a list of "rules" about life in Chad.  Together, they give a pretty good picture of how different life is over here.  Some of the "rules" will surprise you.  Some will amuse you.  Some might even shock you.  But I think that you will, at least, find them interesting. 

In my experience in the Republic of Chad, there are a million different small things that we take for granted in the States. But life in Chad is vastly different from America. Here are some things, “rules” if you will, you should be aware of, should you ever have the chance to travel to Chad.

Rules of the Road:

• Always watch where you're walking, a cow might have gone by before you.
• Never leave home without a flashlight, TP, your passport, water, insect repellent, and a blanket. Snack food and a change of clothes would also be a good idea. You just never know.
• Never hit a pig or a cow. Sheep, goats, and chickens are ok because they squish better.
• If you do hit an animal, don't stop if you can help it. Legally they're not supposed to be on the road and you don't want to end up in the middle of a testy crowd.
• Use your horn liberally while driving.
• You will see all kinds of things - including goats strapped on the backs of bikes, chickens hanging from handlebars, and even the occasional cow in the back end of a pickup truck.
• Never hit mud puddles fast. You never know how deep they will be.
• Proceed carefully when passing another vehicle. You never know what the dust might be obscuring.
• Not all public transportation has good brakes. Sometimes they just shift into first gear and have somebody jump out of the back of the truck and put a block of wood in front of a rear tire.
• Always tell people you want to leave at least an hour before the time you really have to take off.
• Cows on the bridge always have the right of way.
• The longer you ride, the hazier the world gets - at least until you clean your glasses.
• Roadside vegetation is always dirty.
• Never hitch a ride on a beer truck. They stop in every village to make deliveries.
• Always wear a hat (guys) or a headscarf (gals). It keeps your hair cleaner and less tangled.
• If you see fresh, live branches piled on the edge of the road, a truck is broken down ahead.
• When they're wet, mud and sand can be every bit as slippery as ice.
• If you want to find the easiest pace to walk in the sand, follow the bicycle tracks.
• If you sit in the back row of the minivan, expect to be covered (and I mean covered) with dust by the time you reach your destination.

Rules of the Table:

• Always watch for pebbles in your rice. If you don't, you may break a tooth.
• Freeze flour to kill the bugs.
• Remember - the intestines of the chicken are the delicacy. (They really don't taste bad, it's just the idea.)
• Slurp your tea loudly and always add at least 6 cubes of sugar.
• Don't wear rings on your right hand while eating.
• When eating in a house with a dirt floor, it's acceptable to dump the last of your water there.
• It's acceptable to feed your chicken bones to the animals.
• If you plan to eat mangoes, don't forget your dental floss.
• If you plan to eat, don't forget your dental floss.
• The preferred soft drinks are Fanta Orange and Coca-Cola. Sprite is a distant third.
• The most honored person at the table is the first one to eat the meat in the sauce. If it's you, they'll tell you after a while.
• Once you've washed your hands before eating, don't touch anything with your right hand - and it's drip dry.

General Rules:

• Nothing EVER happens quickly in Chad.
• Torn money is worthless (except with lots of hassle).
• To get bugs out of your ears, shine a flashlight in. This will draw the bug out.
• While shopping, keep your hands and your money in your pocket.
• Never pay the first price you're asked.
• Always shake everyone's hand upon entering the store.
• Study the 1001 uses for a 'pagne" (the piece of cloth that Chadian women use as skirts).
• Don't look people in the eyes when you talk to them - especially those in authority. It's disrespectful.
• If a lizard runs toward you, look for a snake behind it.
• Use both hands to give and receive.
• 70 degrees is freezing cold.
• It's possible to entertain kids just by sitting there.
• It's also possible to frighten kids just by sitting there.
• Chadians don't shoo flies away from their faces.
• Always stand or sit in the shade, never in the sun.
• If you hear coughing or clapping, it means there's someone at your front door.
• When you enter a church service or a Bible study, always bow your head and pray first.
• Women and girls - always wear a head covering to church meetings.
• People can carry tremendous weights on their heads.
• Always give gifts in a plastic bag.
• You can tell who has come to your house by the footprints in the sand.
• It is rude to ask someone what his or her name is.
• A gasp is a sign of assent.
• The most honored people get the best chairs.
• You can make your Chadian friends happy by wearing Chadian clothes.
• If you have long hair, don't let your Chadian friends see you with it hanging down in front of your face. (They will think you're a demon.)
• Always offer your guests water.
• Chadians like seeing pictures of your family.
• Scorpion horses (a type of spider) will run right toward you.
• If a friend comes to visit you, walk them part of the way home.
• Don't take pictures of Muslims.
• Don't pat a Chadian on the shoulder.
• The teacher always leaves the room before the students.
• If you lose weight, your Chadian friends will be concerned. It's seen as a sign of illness.
• When you're leaving on a trip, Chadians will never let you carry your bag.
• If a woman paints her nails, she will paint her toenails and the nails on her left hand only. It's considered dirty to eat with nail polish on your right hand.